A Self-Development Workshop – What is my Contribution?

How and Why focusing on our intentional, conscious contribution is vital in creating and sustaining our relationships and Balance. 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/a-self-development-workshop-what-is-my-contribution-tickets-423096100827

Living your Balance while dependent incredibly on Self-Awareness and Self-Connection is also significantly influenced by our Relationships and Environments.

Yes, others contribute to these relationships, and we can influence that with what and how we participate. However, we cannot control their contribution. So our participation should always be on what we can control; our Well-intentioned Contribution.

Given how much life is about actions and reactions, living and contributing intentionally can significantly influence what we get back and how we create and maintain our Balance.

I’m looking forward to reflecting and growing with you on

  • The factors that guide our contribution.
  • Why and How we stay accountable for our contribution.
  • Why and How contributing intentionally is the prerequisite to creating and living your Balance.
  • How to create and sustain lasting relationships from how and what we contribute.

There is no better chance taken than that on self-development. Explore, participate, share and learn practical tools in a space created purposefully for Balance and Growth. Come deep dive and acquire intentional and solution-driven skills for everyday living as you continue your self-actualization journey.

Disclosure: Ticket Price includes an assortment of Appetizers and Wine.

A Self Development Workshop – Live your Balance Part I

My name is Antoinette Njombua-Fombad, and I hosted a workshop on July 30th, 2022 – ‘Live Your Balance’. I am full of gratitude and thank all those who attended and supported this venture.

As a human being, I’ve always dreamt of creating spaces and environments for healing, loving, and growing. I figured if we can find a way to normalize vulnerability as an opportunity to build ourselves, we benefit from using our lessons to grow and create experiences in alignment with who we become. As a Coach, helping people understand the value of self-connection is one of my greatest passions and mission. Self-awareness is vital to the process.

My purpose for this workshop and future ones is to encourage us to grow just as our environments evolve and to be more intentional with authenticity as we connect with our humanity and our growth and becoming. When we become rigid with our perspectives or perceptions, there’s little room for inspiration, change, or growth. Living more consciously requires a flexible and open mind. That doesn’t mean you become these new perspectives overnight; it simply means you, without restrictions, allow yourself to reflect without conditioning, update your subconscious data, strengthen what you already value, or evolve it to create more balance.

These spaces are not for judgment, disrespect, disregard, shame, or blame. They are not meant for re-living what we already get out there. They are meant for release, reflection, and Growth. I am counting on us all to remember this purpose throughout these experiences so that we allow ourselves to learn from each other, from our reflections, leave intentionally ready to live more self-connected, and more equipped to build or enhance the habits that grow us, and keep us into a future we create for ourselves. I hope you choose to change an opportunity for growth and venture out to my next workshop or connect with me in person.

As always, keep Healing, Loving, and Growing!

We are not our disabilities.

I’ve often wondered why we have created space for our disabilities, where we increasingly move from being seen as people with challenges, into people who ARE challenges. Or why we feel shame in recognizing such challenges, simply as what they are, challenges. 

As a society, I understand the need to identify and provide assistance to individuals born, or with acquired inadequacies affecting their daily lives. Why is it commonly translated as a need for isolation in a space of deficiency, whether purposefully or unintentionally? We all deserve to understand both sides, how that affects our livelihood, and make us unique. Holding back one or the other is a disservice to us all, and influences a future distortion on full self-awareness. 

Imagine being consistently identified from childhood, as HAVING a disability. It can affect the mind very differently knowing that you are NOT a disability, but rather live with some inabilities affected by challenges. Epigenetic studies support how this can significantly affect the mindset. The idea of being defective can suppress many abilities that with routine, hard work, and a cultivating mindset, can significantly elevate our lives in many ways. 

Now imagine being trained to only believe in perfectionism with nothing beyond your capabilities. Undoubtedly, you will probably thrive with this mindset, crushing your goals and accomplishing many outcomes you set your mind to. Until you find out later in life, things you truly may never be able to accomplish in the manner you dream, because of some independent variable out of your control. It might take just as much time adjusting mentally and emotionally building you back to where you were. 

We all have disabilities in some way because we are human, which influences us to develop values more connected to self-acceptance, increase comfort in accepting accountability for our choices, and understand what we can contribute to thriving in any environment, circumstance, and period of life.  

We need to elevate our consciousness, to accept ourselves for all that we are, as self-worth is critical to self-awareness. Consciously work to trust that at any given time in your life, conversation, interaction, roadblock, or self-doubt,  you are human. We are everything that we are, and that is always enough of a starting point to accurately work on elevating ourselves to where we want to go.      

Mind and Choice

What supports the explanation and functionality of the human mind. Some say God and others say science. It is fair to believe both sources coexist and are equally relevant and tasked with explaining all the things we have come to know, the things we think we know, the things we only have a glimpse of knowing, to the things we just can’t explain even if we knew. 

Science explains the brain’s anatomy and physiology while spirituality supports/validates it’s aliveness. I imagine the brain as a command center that collects all data; good and bad, affording the human carrying the body a variety of paths to choose from. The brain may provide all rational options, but it is the human form guided by its conscious state, that gets to choose.

Although we may never come to fully decode it, we still have the power to train and navigate our thoughts independently, as facilitated and afforded by our individual journeys. We are habitual in our ways as our minds have been trained to frequently present options suitable to our realities and desires.That by itself supports our ability to retrain our brains just like we do other body parts and functions. 

Have you ever wondered why memories slowly fade away when they stop contributing to, or influencing our lives? Explains why the proportion of memories that stay alive is related to the extent of their influence on who we are. As much as science enlightens us, I hope that the things it cannot explain, allow us to sustain our individuality of thought as was meant from our creation days, unique to each person, mysterious, and truly free. 

It is crucial to remember that whatever choice is made, will always evoke reactions presented by our universe. So cultivate the habit of making choices guided by good intentions, those that are service driven, and growth driven. Such actions increase our chances of living in a peaceful state with others, but most importantly, with ourselves. 

And when our choices cause pain and hurt and conflict, always remember that our mind constantly affords a multitude of favorable options available to choose from. Our thoughts are OURS to navigate, retrain, change and grow. 

Dream

I’ve often reflected on why we typically connect better with our dreams and imagination when we close our eyes. My rational explanation understands conscious connection as experienced from a collection of three events. The moment you see it, how your brain interprets it, and how your heart feels it. 

So your eyes, your mind and your heart all factor into how you emotionally connect. Given that we live more consciously, the eyes allow us to visually embrace what we are connecting with. However, oftentimes, especially with events that don’t necessarily need visible cues, the eyes can create repeals of distraction. Such events tend to feel better, experienced in the dark and typically enhance both conscious and subconscious emotional connections. 

With eyes closed, there is no visible interference and our mind’s influence on how we intake heightens, allowing us to experience multiple sensations of what we are connecting with, in ways that are most suitable to us. It affords us a medium to dive deeper into realms untouched by visual distractions, hence influencing our hearts the opportunity for greater vulnerability. 

It explains why experiences like meditation, yoga, visualization, dreaming, sex, or listening to music are more enjoyable in such a state. Or why sometimes going blindly is better as the unknown allows for the mind and heart the opportunity to experience multiple possibilities. 

No visual distractions allows us to attach our focus or state to the purpose for the experience. It allows us to connect our thoughts and feelings without the intrusion of visible variables. In that state, we are truly one mind, body and spirit, and have the opportunity to connect with our human form in our highest mental energy state. So do me a favor, close your eyes, let your imagination travel, DREAM! 

Perfectionism

We are not perfect, that fortunately is one of the beautiful things about humanity. For many reasons, the cause and effect, action and reaction realities exist as early as in utero, as both genetics and environment influence our creation. Our environment however is mainly what keeps us trending towards a need for global Perfectionism. 

Perfectionism I believe is unattainable, as it is impossible to create a linear continuum of a particular standard for a single person, much more a collective people. Perfection stunts the purity of personal and purposeful growth. Life will forever be an absolute independent experience for every single human being, and our experiences, intentions and environmental influences, are microscopically unique, and individually experienced.

Evolution is messy and cosmic and shocking and experimental. That’s what allows for the possibility of growth and transformation. It has been, and it will continue to be that way even with all human attempts to standardize and normalize predictability. Don’t get me wrong, data is necessary especially in a world rapidly changing and bursting with higher levels of consciousness.

Part of our change in this era of individuality and capitalism definitely requires predictability to allow a certain state of preservation. But even in that state, we still need to remember that we are individuals, and evolve independently before collectively. Rather than mostly focusing on grouping our nature and changes in relation to universal data, it is more beneficial to include the independent variable of individual experiences guided by, and connected to the one and basic factor that has kept us evolving all this while, our Humanity. 

We need to remember that humanity is what allows us to be unique, to grow, to change. It is our privilege to decipher why we feel, how it affects us, and how we can use the lessons to grow without compromising the very reason we exist. Perfectionism stalls us from living our truth, for fear of perceived failure. So we keep living in a data driven state, rather than an organic human guided one. 

Leadership

True leadership is an enormous responsibility for the people who look up to you, rather than how they look up to you. Even with an error margin, it has a focus on purpose for service, and the results, directions, and decisions made with, for and on behalf of the people you serve. Are your intentions based on the purpose of caring, inspiring, motivating, and leading others to thrive? How these intentions and actions affect the leader need not be part of the worry because, the act of positive-good-intentioned service, does not only define the kind of leader you are but determines your returns.

As leaders, the goal and purpose should at all times, beyond all benefit of doubt, focus less on the individual, and more on the collective good of the people, by the people, and for the people.

The way I see it, great leadership is evaluated on results that can be felt first, before being seen. It is influenced by spiritual guidance even without knowing, and comes from a place that sits well with understanding the people you serve, relating to their circumstances and putting their basic human needs before any other agenda. Health, safety, equality, justice, a chance for growth and opportunity, and ensuring we maintain an environment conducive for future generations. 

Expectedly, leaders are human and do have moments where their flaws outshine their progress. However, that same humanity affords empathy, compassion, love, integrity, grace, vulnerability, kindness and strength, all characteristics of a good leader. As individuals, they also experience the constant struggle with balance, sometimes influencing self-centered decision making rather than decisions focused on getting the most yields for the population as a whole, and building a utilitarian system worth standing ground. 

A sovereign system of leadership might produce results, mostly influenced by fear, survival, and a vision extremely hard for people to trust and connect with. It creates a system that seems strong from the outside, but standing on an unstable foundation ready to crumble. Such leadership is not one of service, but one of self interest.True leadership in a democracy requires respecting and building the strengths of all participants, and inspiring them to be their best. It encourages accountability, pride in their participation, and promotes unity.

Every pyramid system built to last is influenced by both the top and the bottom foundation, and both are equally important in ensuring it’s sustainability. How the Leaders at the top connect with the employees at the bottom determines the fragility or strength of the organization. We need leadership that exists in this format so we can all thrive and leave a legacy for future generations to model and ensure sustaining our existence, and humanity. 

Choose Life

“There are sources of help all around you which operate on the rule of free will. Those of positive polarity shall not force themselves upon you but shall await your request. It is said in your holy works, “Ask and you shall receive; Knock and it shall be opened unto you.” know with a deep knowing, that this is the true nature of things. Do not expect your guidance to come and speak in your ear without your request. You have Angels about you at all times. They too are forbidden to interfere until you ask for their help. Ask them and thank them.” – IG @messagefrombeyond.

At every given moment in your Life, you are all that you are. Your body is alive and reacting with its environment. Remember that even during your darkest moments, YOU are the master of your body. You are your body’s guide to aliveness. 

Life can be overwhelming as there are millions of reactions and interactions constantly happening with and all around us. Beautiful thing about this cosmic size reality is that it will always be dual. 

REMEMBER there is always access to the equal but opposite reaction to everything happening to us, in us, and around us. We share our aliveness with our worlds so when it comes to our mental health, share and use those same resources. There is no better time than during such moments. 

Here are 5 ways to reconnect with your Aliveness. 

✅ TALK! Similar to crying, Talk therapy is one of the first and easiest ways to start releasing negative energy from your body. It gives your body a chance to start rebalancing it’s chemicals. It gives you the chance to seek Empathy and Love.

✅ PRAY! Prayer allows you to spiritually connect you to your inner creator. The very essence of the gift we possess, Life itself. 

✅ CONNECT! Use physical or spiritual, and external and internal mediums. Get a massage, meditate, listen to music, watch your favorite movie, go out into nature. Dose your mind and body with soothing and positive inputs to remind you of the joys of living. 

✅ LAUGH! Besides the fact that laughter is 100% free, it has been proven to be contagious, and an opportunity to bond with yourself and others. 

✅ CHOOSE LIFE! The very notion of keeping your mind in this state is directly related to being in this state. Even during moments where it seems impossible, stay patient and optimistic, it is positive reinforcement and allows you to live in a State of Hope. 

Keep Healing, Loving, and Growing!

Emotion + Energy

Where the mind goes, Energy flows and blood and flesh follow”

Every emotion plays an important physiological role in our body. Epigenetics helps explain how energy from the environment affects our body and our growth in positive or negative ways. 

Studies have shown that the mind and the immune system are connected. Positive energy relaxes the body by increasing blood flow to the brain and the organs, increases the release of oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins, which all promote growth, healing and wellness. 

Stress increases tension of connective tissue, moves blood from our organs to our muscles, and increases the release of histamines, all of which decrease our immunity, growth, and balance. Stress can literally manifest as illness, especially chronic stress from trapped difficult emotions. 

Emotional expression and methods used to decrease stress such as talk therapy, or touch therapy which can initiate transferring positive energy to restructure and promote growth and healing through touch, nutritional therapy by eating foods that positively influence the structure of our anatomy and physiology. Adopting practices that increase oxygen intake such as deep breathing , Qigong, and Yoga. 

Using Visualization such as meditation or mental imagery we can discover a manifestation for ourselves from within ourselves, the power of positive thinking and practice guided by life coaching, using the creative conscious mind to learn new information, or download information from the programmed subconscious mind, to address our stress and move our bodies from the stress response, to the relaxed, restored, and heal response. 

We become what we think. and the energy we absorb manifest in the physicality of our bodies. 

TIME

Time, the one constant still intangible. From quantum theory, spiritual & mystical concepts, and time travel. The possibility that time is the very reason we exist is one theory to live by. Can we live with the reality of knowing when our time starts and stops? Can we handle the newness and realities of circumstances if we could travel to different eras? 

As our time ticks and tocks, choosing to live with all its uncertainties may be hard. Truth is, as living creatures, decoding time is realistically impossible. For one reason, every single organism has its own personal clock. Even if we somehow found a way to make it collectively linear, our individuality of thought, our uniqueness, prevents it. Our functioning may be synonymous in many ways but yet so different at the same time. One event remains the same event, but evokes an infinity of reactions from all those experiencing it.

Choosing to continue challenging our intelligence, whether by fact or speculation, is a journey that is purposeful. Focusing on how time affords us our individual journeys is a crucial part of that study. The notion of time having a beginning and an end, can be scary and conforming, even though we know we are energy that cycles through the universe, only present in physical form for some time in this state of consciousness. Time, I believe, doesn’t exist to conform us, it exists to free us. 

There’s no disregarding quantum mysticism. There may be a galactic genesis of time, but there is also the reality of direct observation that time connects and navigates our journeys as we grow. Affording us space to evolve into who we are as individuals and collectively as people. 

We already travel to the past with our memories, live in the future through our dreams and imagination, and manage our present with reality. Isn’t that time travel? Isn’t that a space for any individual to make the best of their situation? Plants bend and twist, and our bodies build antibodies in hopes of furthering our existence. However we came into being, we are afforded these gifts to live our time, to make our time, to travel through our time as best as we can, with as much time as we have.